MY BIRTHDAY IS ALMOST HERE!
You were born an original. Don't die a copy.
This one is for the ladies…
Chad and his mullet just want you to relax, baby. It’s hard work being a mom. Aww, girl, Chad understands. Shhhhh. There, there. Just let Chad take care of everything on this special day of yours.
Ireland Forever!
Murphy was staggering home with a pint of booze in his back pocket when he slipped and fell heavily. Struggling to his feet, he felt something wet running down his leg. "Please Lord," he implored, "let it be blood!!!"
I Am A Lover
People say things they don't mean so often that it is easy to disbelieve someone who is being genuine... At least, they are AT THE TIME. But I mean this...
The Best Kept Secrets R The Ones U Don’t Know
The best kept secrets are the ones you don't know. Ask me anything.
Happy Valentines Day. ♥
Valentine’s Day Is On The ‘Morrow
Valentine's Day is upon us. So, don't act like you don't know. Instead of avoiding calls, call everyone. Be a lover; don't just play one on TV.
Thank You
My ultimate fantasy is to entice a man to my bedroom, put a gun to his head and say, 'Make babies or die'."
- Ruby Wax
Gimme A Spank or Walk Thee Plank
"When the authorities warn you of the dangers of having sex [on your birthday], there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities [on your birthday]."
- Matt Groening.
Time To Take My Medicine
"I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own."
- Woody Allen *coughs* MY BIRTHDAY IS TOMORROW!
Time Is Never Wasted When You’re Wasted All The Time
"Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the National Debt."
Happy Chinese New Year!
Just what is Chinese New Year? There's actually a lot more to it than lion dances and firecrackers, although these two pieces of tradition are integral and more visible, Chinese New Year to China is like Christmas to the West. In essence, Chinese New Year is spending time with family, gift giving and, the all...
My Birthday Is February 7th
"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."
- Hunter S Thompson
Year of the Rabbit
2011 is the Year of the Rabbit: Famous Rabbit People: Angelina Jolie, Anjelica Huston, Drew Barrymore, Edith Piaf, Fanny Brice, Helen Hunt, Jane Seymour, Joan Crawford, Kate Winslet, Natasha Richardson, and Tina Turner.
Let My People Go
Hot water works wonders. I had an especially poignant moment in the shower today -- it often happens when I'm alone.
Mignon
If for no other reason than the insult that they are calling Macaroni & Cheese, this place deserves a grenade.
Don’t Blow It
On New Year's Eve, Daniel was in no shape to drive, so he sensibly left his van in the car park and walked home. As he was wobbling along, he was stopped by a policeman. 'What are you doing out here at four o'clock in the morning?' asked the police officer.
'I'm on my...
Get Ready For New Year
It's almost that time. Make your resolutions yet? Do people still do that?
Happy Holidays
Happy holidays, Fans. Do go ahead and give me the gift of your imagination. Ask me ANYTHING. Truly.
Happy Birthday, Kev!
"Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened."
- Jennifer Yane.
You Are Perfect… And So Am I.
He who breaks a (New Year) resolution is a weakling;
He who makes one is a fool. - F.M. Knowles
The One You Don’t Know About
It has been written that the best kept secret is the one you don't know. Sounds a bit elitist to me but hey...
