I am an actress who writes, a collector of flasks + rare books, an avid Baccarat player and fledgling daredevil who loves to party. Caveat Emptor: I am a Los Angeles native and will break the fingers of any and all who attempt to strew litter on my native soil.

Want

… And a partridge in a pear tree.

by Taryn Maxximillian Dafoe on Dec 31, 2011 • 12:32 am No Comments

5 Gifts I Didn’t Get This Christmas That I Want Next Year:

A subscription to MAD MAGAZINE

A stocking full of: All the latest Gummy candy, at least four of only the creamy cheese packets from Kraft or Velveeta deluxe macaroni and cheese, boxes of the giant orange and fruit punch flavored Tic Tacs, cherry and green apple flavored Laffy Taffy, a brand new deck of cards featuring the Chippendale’s and various miniature bottles of rum and brandy for spiking the eggnog

An Infiniti Essence

A full body massage — and I don’t mean the kind from Burke Williams (O_O)

A happy ending.